Yes, people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can experience a phenomenon called "splitting" in their relationships, including with their "Favorite Person" (FP). Splitting is a defense mechanism and cognitive distortion where individuals with BPD tend to see things, including people, in extreme black-and-white terms – as all good or all bad – with little room for shades of gray or nuance.
When someone with BPD "splits" on their FP, it means that their perception of that person oscillates between extremes. At times, the FP may be idealized, seen as the most amazing and essential person in their life, bringing immense joy and fulfillment. However, during moments of emotional dysregulation or perceived disappointment, the person with BPD may quickly shift to devaluing their FP, seeing them as entirely negative, uncaring, or even as a threat.
This emotional instability and rapid oscillation between idealization and devaluation can place significant strain on the relationship with the FP. It may lead to conflicts, misunderstandings, and a sense of instability for both parties involved.
It's important to note that the concept of "Favorite Person" is not an official psychiatric or diagnostic term. It's a term used within the BPD community to describe an individual to whom a person with BPD becomes particularly attached or emotionally dependent. This attachment can be intense and can contribute to the splitting behavior.
Managing the challenges associated with splitting in relationships, including with an FP, is a key focus of therapy for individuals with BPD. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a widely used therapeutic approach that aims to help people with BPD learn coping skills, emotional regulation, and healthier ways of managing relationships to reduce the impact of splitting and improve overall relationship stability. If you or someone you know is struggling with BPD or related relationship issues, seeking professional help from a mental health specialist is highly recommended.