It's essential to prioritize your own well-being and emotional safety in any relationship, especially when dealing with someone who may be emotionally abusive and struggling with mental health issues such as borderline personality disorder (BPD). Here are some steps you can take to distance yourself and stop being someone's favorite person (FP):
Set boundaries: Establish clear and firm boundaries with the person. Let them know what behavior is not acceptable and what you will no longer tolerate. Stick to these boundaries and be consistent in enforcing them.
Communicate your feelings: Express your feelings honestly but assertively. Let them know that you need some space and time for yourself, and that the current dynamics in the relationship are not healthy for you.
Limit contact: Gradually reduce the amount of time you spend with this person. This can be done by limiting or avoiding interactions, whether in person, via text, or on social media. Slowly distancing yourself can be less jarring for both of you.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a support network to help you cope with any guilt, anxiety, or emotional challenges that may arise from distancing yourself from the person. Having a support system can make the process more manageable.
Educate yourself about BPD: Understanding the challenges and struggles faced by individuals with BPD can help you have empathy and compassion while still maintaining your boundaries. However, remember that you are not responsible for fixing or managing their mental health.
Consider professional help: If the person's emotional abuse is severe or you fear for their safety, consider involving a mental health professional or reaching out to appropriate resources. However, remember that your primary responsibility is your own well-being.
Protect yourself: Emotional abuse can take a toll on your mental health. Practice self-care, engage in activities that make you feel good, and prioritize your own happiness and safety.
Stay firm: If the person tries to manipulate or guilt-trip you into staying, remember your reasons for distancing yourself and reaffirm your decision. Be consistent in maintaining your boundaries.
Let go of guilt: It's common to feel guilty when distancing yourself from someone in need, but remember that your well-being matters too. You cannot help someone at the cost of your own emotional health.
Keep your distance: In some cases, completely cutting off contact might be necessary for your own well-being. If the person continues to be emotionally abusive or refuses to respect your boundaries, it may be best to end the relationship entirely.
Remember, it's okay to prioritize your mental and emotional health. Ending or distancing yourself from a relationship with someone who is emotionally abusive and causing you distress is an act of self-preservation, not selfishness. Seek support and take care of yourself during this process.