Responding to a girlfriend with borderline personality disorder (BPD) who pushes you away can be challenging, but it's essential to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and understanding. Here are some tips on how to respond in a supportive and constructive manner:
Validate Her Feelings: Recognize that her emotions and reactions may be intense and overwhelming for her. Let her know that her feelings are valid and that you understand that she may be going through a difficult time.
Respect Boundaries: When she pushes you away, it's crucial to respect her need for space. BPD can cause individuals to experience intense fear of abandonment, which may lead them to test their relationships. Give her the time and space she needs without taking it personally.
Practice Active Listening: Be there to listen without judgment when she is ready to talk. Active listening involves giving your full attention, being non-judgmental, and reflecting back her emotions to show that you understand.
Be Patient and Consistent: Dealing with BPD can be a rollercoaster ride, and her emotions may shift rapidly. Stay patient and consistent in your support. Demonstrate your commitment to the relationship over time.
Encourage Professional Help: Encourage her to seek professional help and treatment for her BPD. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is considered one of the most effective therapies for BPD, and it can help her develop coping skills and emotional regulation.
Set Boundaries for Yourself: While it's important to be understanding and supportive, it's also crucial to set boundaries for yourself. You need to take care of your emotional well-being as well.
Avoid Engaging in Arguments: During times of heightened emotions, arguments may escalate, leading to further difficulties. Try to avoid engaging in arguments and heated discussions. Give space until things calm down.
Don't Enable Destructive Behavior: While it's important to be supportive, avoid enabling destructive behaviors or actions that may be harmful to her or the relationship.
Seek Support: Supporting someone with BPD can be challenging and emotionally draining. Don't hesitate to seek support for yourself, either through friends, family, or professional counseling.
Remember, a romantic relationship with someone with BPD can be challenging, and it's crucial to be honest with yourself about your own emotional well-being. If you find the relationship is becoming toxic or detrimental to either of you, seeking guidance from a mental health professional or counselor can be helpful in making decisions about the future of the relationship.