Yes, it is not uncommon for individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) to experience intense and complicated emotions, including strong feelings for their ex-partners. People with BPD often have difficulty regulating their emotions and can form intense and unstable attachments to others. This can result in a pattern of idealizing and devaluing their partners, which is known as "splitting."
When someone with BPD has a romantic relationship that ends, they may continue to have strong feelings for their ex-partner. They might idealize their ex, remembering only the positive aspects of the relationship and longing for the connection they once had. This can lead to a desire to reconcile and get back together, driven by a fear of abandonment and an intense need for validation and love.
On the other hand, there may be moments of devaluation, where they focus on the negative aspects of the past relationship or blame their ex-partner for the breakup. These conflicting emotions and thoughts can create a rollercoaster of feelings, making it challenging for the individual to let go or move on.
It's important to recognize that these feelings are a manifestation of the emotional dysregulation and difficulty in managing relationships that are typical of BPD. However, individual experiences may vary, and not everyone with BPD will react the same way to a breakup.
If you or someone you know with BPD is struggling with emotions related to a past relationship, seeking support from a mental health professional can be beneficial. A therapist can provide guidance in navigating emotions, improving coping strategies, and developing healthier relationship patterns. Additionally, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a specialized form of therapy that has been shown to be effective in helping individuals with BPD manage their emotions and improve interpersonal skills.