It can be distressing and confusing when your partner, especially one with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), suddenly starts ignoring your texts while appearing active on other platforms like WhatsApp. It's essential to approach this situation with empathy and understanding, as there could be various reasons for their behavior. Here are some possibilities to consider:
Splitting and Fear of Abandonment: People with BPD may struggle with splitting, where they see things in black-and-white terms, including their relationships. They might feel intense love and connection at one moment and then suddenly fear rejection or abandonment, leading them to pull away or ignore communication.
Emotional Dysregulation: BPD can lead to emotional instability, making it difficult for individuals to manage their feelings effectively. They may need to take breaks from communication to cope with overwhelming emotions before responding.
Avoidant Coping Mechanism: Avoidance is a common coping mechanism for individuals with BPD. When they feel overwhelmed or anxious in a relationship, they may retreat and avoid direct communication.
Seeking Reassurance: Engaging with others on platforms like WhatsApp might be a way for your partner to seek validation and reassurance from a broader social circle. They may avoid direct communication with you due to fears of conflict or feelings of inadequacy.
Splitting Between Social Media and Real-Life: People with BPD might perceive online interactions differently from real-life connections. Engaging on WhatsApp may feel less intense and emotionally risky than communicating with you directly.
Lack of Emotional Regulation Skills: BPD can hinder emotional regulation skills, leading to impulsive behaviors. Your partner might be seeking temporary relief or distraction through online interactions.
Feeling Overwhelmed or Triggered: Something in your recent communication might have triggered intense emotions or fears, leading your partner to withdraw temporarily to avoid conflict or emotional distress.
Testing Boundaries: Some individuals with BPD may test the boundaries of a relationship to see how their partner responds. Ignoring texts could be a way of testing your reactions or commitment.
It's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and concerns when they are ready to engage. However, it's crucial to approach the conversation with compassion and without judgment. Remember that BPD can be challenging to manage, and your partner might need time to process their emotions before they feel comfortable discussing the situation.
If you find that this pattern of behavior continues or causes significant distress in your relationship, consider seeking the support of a therapist or counselor experienced in working with BPD and relationship issues. Professional help can provide valuable guidance and strategies to navigate the challenges that arise in the context of BPD.