When a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is pushing their partner away, it can manifest in various ways, and the behavior can vary from person to person. Some common behaviors that may be observed when someone with BPD is pushing their partner away include:
Intense Mood Swings: They may experience rapid and intense shifts in emotions, going from loving and affectionate to distant and angry within a short period.
Fear of Abandonment: People with BPD often have an intense fear of abandonment, which can lead them to push their partner away as a way to protect themselves from potential rejection or abandonment.
Push-Pull Dynamics: They might engage in a push-pull pattern, where they alternate between seeking emotional closeness and then distancing themselves when they feel overwhelmed or vulnerable.
Verbal Aggressiveness: They may become verbally aggressive, lash out, or make hurtful comments to create emotional distance and test their partner's commitment.
Emotional Withdrawal: They might emotionally withdraw, becoming cold and distant to avoid emotional intimacy or vulnerability.
Self-Sabotage: Engaging in behaviors that sabotage the relationship, such as starting arguments over small issues or becoming overly critical of their partner.
Threats of Ending the Relationship: In extreme cases, they might threaten to end the relationship as a way to gain a sense of control or to see if their partner will fight for them.
Responding to a partner with BPD when they are pushing you away can be challenging but is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. Here are some tips on how to respond:
Educate Yourself: Learn about BPD and its symptoms to gain a better understanding of your partner's struggles and reactions.
Communicate Openly and Honestly: Encourage open and honest communication about feelings and concerns, both from your partner and yourself. Be patient and understanding during difficult conversations.
Set Boundaries: Establish and maintain healthy boundaries to protect yourself from hurtful behaviors. Make it clear what behavior is acceptable and what is not.
Practice Empathy: Show empathy and validate your partner's feelings without necessarily condoning destructive behavior. Recognize that their actions may be driven by fear and insecurity.
Encourage Professional Help: Suggest or support your partner in seeking therapy or counseling. A qualified mental health professional can help them work through their emotions and learn healthier coping strategies.
Self-Care: Take care of your own well-being. Ensure you have a support system, and consider seeking therapy or support groups to cope with the challenges of being in a relationship with someone with BPD.
Be Patient: Dealing with BPD can be a long and difficult journey. Patience and persistence are essential as your partner learns to manage their emotions and behaviors.
Remember that navigating a relationship with someone with BPD can be complex, and seeking professional guidance and support for both you and your partner can be beneficial.