The behavior you described can be confusing when dealing with someone who exhibits traits of narcissism or other personality disorders. While I can't provide a specific diagnosis for an individual, I can offer some insights into potential reasons why a person with narcissistic traits might engage in such behaviors:
Manipulation and Control: Narcissists often use acts of generosity as a way to gain control over others. By providing financial support or gifts, they can create a sense of indebtedness and reliance in their targets, making it harder for the person to distance themselves from the narcissist.
Self-Image Maintenance: Narcissists are highly concerned with their self-image and how they are perceived by others. Being generous and helpful can be a way for them to present themselves as caring and benevolent individuals, even if their motivations are self-centered.
Seeking Validation and Admiration: Narcissists crave admiration and validation. Providing gifts and financial assistance can be a way to elicit praise and appreciation from the recipient, boosting the narcissist's ego and reinforcing their self-importance.
Maintaining a Sense of Superiority: By helping someone financially or providing material goods, the narcissist may feel superior and in control of the relationship. It reinforces their belief that they are more significant and powerful than the other person.
Intermittent Reinforcement: Narcissists often use a technique called intermittent reinforcement, where they provide rewards and positive experiences inconsistently. This approach can create an addictive dynamic, as the recipient becomes hopeful for more positive treatment, leading to confusion and emotional dependence.
It's essential to remember that people with personality disorders can have complex and contradictory behaviors. They may be capable of showing kindness and generosity at times while also engaging in harmful and manipulative behaviors. These contradictory actions can make it difficult for the recipient to understand the true nature of the relationship.
If you find yourself in a situation where you feel unsure about the intentions behind someone's behavior, especially if it involves manipulation or abuse, it's important to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. They can help you navigate the situation and provide guidance on how to protect yourself emotionally and psychologically.