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As an INFJ dealing with a partner who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), it can be challenging due to the emotional intensity and instability often present in such relationships. However, it's important to remember that every individual and relationship is unique, so the best approach may vary depending on the specific circumstances. Here are some general tips that may help you navigate a relationship with a BPD partner:

  1. Educate Yourself About BPD: Learn as much as you can about BPD to gain a better understanding of the condition and its impact on your partner's emotions and behaviors. This knowledge can help you be more empathetic and compassionate, which are essential in such relationships.

  2. Set Boundaries: It's crucial to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in the relationship. BPD can lead to boundary-blurring behavior, and as an INFJ, you may find yourself giving too much emotionally. Remember that it's okay to prioritize your well-being.

  3. Communicate Openly: Encourage open and honest communication with your partner. Be compassionate and non-judgmental while expressing your feelings and needs. At the same time, encourage your partner to share their emotions and thoughts, which can help foster a deeper connection.

  4. Practice Active Listening: As an empathetic INFJ, your ability to actively listen and validate your partner's emotions can be valuable. Let them know that you understand their feelings, even if you don't necessarily agree with their perspective.

  5. Encourage Professional Help: BPD is a complex condition, and therapy, especially dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), has shown to be effective in managing symptoms. Encourage your partner to seek professional help and offer to support them in this process.

Regarding the "door slam," which is a term often associated with INFJs suddenly cutting off or distancing themselves from people who have hurt them emotionally, it's important to approach this situation carefully in a relationship with a BPD partner. While protecting your emotional well-being is essential, abruptly cutting off someone with BPD can be particularly distressing for them due to their fear of abandonment.

If you find yourself overwhelmed or feeling trapped in the relationship, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance on how to navigate the situation with care and compassion. They can help you explore healthier ways to cope with the emotional challenges of the relationship.

Ultimately, whether or not the "door slam" becomes necessary depends on the severity of the emotional trauma you experience and your partner's willingness to seek help and work on their BPD symptoms. Remember that taking care of your emotional health is vital, and seeking professional support can be a valuable resource in managing the complexities of a relationship with a BPD partner.

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