Yes, it is possible for a person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) to recognize and respect boundaries in certain situations, such as when they are raised by others, but struggle with this aspect in their personal relationships, especially with their partners. Borderline personality disorder is a complex and challenging mental health condition that can impact a person's emotional regulation, sense of self, and interpersonal relationships.
The behavior of individuals with BPD can vary widely, and not everyone with BPD will have the same experiences or difficulties with boundaries. Some key factors may contribute to why someone with BPD might find it easier to respect boundaries in certain contexts but struggle in others:
External expectations: When raised by others, a person with BPD may have learned specific social norms and expectations about respecting boundaries, which they can adhere to when interacting with others outside their close relationships.
Fear of abandonment: People with BPD often have an intense fear of rejection and abandonment. In their personal relationships, especially with romantic partners, this fear can be triggered more intensely, leading to emotional dysregulation and boundary violations.
Intimacy and vulnerability: Close relationships, such as those with romantic partners, involve greater emotional intimacy and vulnerability. For individuals with BPD, the intensity of emotions and difficulties with self-worth can make it challenging to navigate these relationships and maintain appropriate boundaries.
Emotional dysregulation: BPD is characterized by emotional dysregulation, which means that individuals with this condition may experience intense emotions that are difficult to manage. In moments of emotional distress, they may struggle to respect boundaries and act impulsively or inappropriately.
Past trauma: Many individuals with BPD have a history of trauma or invalidating experiences, which can impact their ability to form and maintain healthy relationships and boundaries.
It is crucial to remember that individuals with BPD can vary greatly in their behavior and coping mechanisms, and not everyone with the disorder will have difficulty with boundaries in the same way. Some individuals with BPD work hard in therapy to develop healthier coping strategies and improve their ability to manage emotions and respect boundaries in their relationships.
If you or someone you know is struggling with BPD or any mental health condition, seeking professional help from a mental health therapist or counselor is highly recommended. With the right support and treatment, individuals with BPD can make positive progress and develop healthier relationships.