Yes, the intense and rapid fluctuations in feelings towards others, such as loving someone intensely one day and hating them the next, is a common trait associated with borderline personality disorder (BPD). This emotional instability is one of the key features of BPD and is often referred to as "splitting."
Splitting is a defense mechanism and coping strategy that people with BPD may employ in response to their intense and often overwhelming emotions. It involves seeing people and situations in extremes of either all good or all bad, with little or no middle ground. When they are experiencing positive emotions, they may idealize the person, seeing them as perfect or putting them on a pedestal. However, when negative emotions arise, they may devalue the same person, viewing them as completely negative or evil.
This emotional rollercoaster can be distressing for both the person with BPD and the people around them, as it can lead to unpredictable and intense relationship dynamics. It may create confusion and hurt in the people close to the individual with BPD, as they might feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells, unsure of how the person will feel about them from one moment to the next.
It is important to understand that these extreme shifts in emotions are not a deliberate choice but rather a manifestation of the emotional dysregulation and difficulties in interpersonal relationships that are characteristic of BPD. Individuals with BPD often struggle with a profound fear of abandonment, which can contribute to their intense emotional reactions and fear of rejection.
Therapy, particularly dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can be helpful in addressing and managing the emotional dysregulation associated with BPD. DBT teaches coping skills to improve emotion regulation and reduce the impact of splitting on relationships. If you or someone you know is dealing with BPD, seeking professional help from a mental health specialist experienced in treating BPD can make a significant difference in managing the condition and improving relationship dynamics.