Yes, it is not uncommon for people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) to become involved in relationships with narcissistic individuals. This dynamic is often referred to as a "narcissistic-BPD relationship" or a "narcissistic-BPD cycle." Both disorders can play off each other and create a challenging and toxic relationship pattern.
People with BPD may be attracted to narcissists due to some common factors:
Idealization: People with BPD may have a tendency to idealize their partners, seeing them as perfect or placing them on a pedestal. Narcissists often present themselves as charming, confident, and initially "perfect" partners, which can appeal to someone with BPD's idealization tendencies.
Emotional Intensity: Both BPD and narcissism are characterized by intense emotional experiences, though in different ways. People with BPD often experience emotional turbulence and are highly sensitive, while narcissists may have a grandiose sense of self and react strongly to perceived slights or criticism. This intensity can create a strong but volatile emotional connection.
Need for Validation: Individuals with BPD often seek validation and reassurance from their partners due to struggles with self-esteem and identity. Narcissists, in turn, seek admiration and validation from others, which can initially satisfy the BPD individual's need for attention and affection.
Cycle of Idealization and Devaluation: The relationship between a person with BPD and a narcissist can follow a cycle of idealization and devaluation. In the beginning, the person with BPD may put the narcissistic partner on a pedestal, but over time, as the narcissist's true traits become evident, the person with BPD may start to devalue the partner. This cycle can repeat itself, causing emotional turmoil for both individuals.
Fear of Abandonment and Codependency: People with BPD often fear abandonment and may cling to relationships to avoid being left alone. Narcissists, in turn, may exploit this fear of abandonment to maintain control and keep the relationship going.
It's important to note that not all individuals with BPD get involved with narcissists, and not all narcissists are in relationships with people with BPD. However, the combination of these two personality types can be particularly challenging, and the relationship may become emotionally draining, tumultuous, and harmful for both parties involved.
If you or someone you know is in a relationship that exhibits signs of toxicity, abuse, or emotional turmoil, it's crucial to seek help and support. Professional counseling or therapy can be beneficial in understanding relationship patterns, developing healthier boundaries, and improving overall well-being.