I can provide information based on general patterns and knowledge about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Individuals with BPD may experience a phenomenon known as "splitting," where they tend to see things, including people, in extremes of all-good or all-bad, without much middle ground. Splitting can significantly affect their perception of others, including romantic partners.
In some cases, people with BPD might split on a partner who genuinely treats them well. There could be various reasons for this, such as:
Fear of Abandonment: People with BPD often have a deep fear of abandonment, and if they feel insecure or fearful in the relationship, they might push their partner away to protect themselves from potential future hurt.
Idealization vs. Devaluation: The person with BPD may have initially idealized their partner, seeing them as perfect and meeting all their needs. However, as the relationship progresses, they might start noticing imperfections or perceived flaws, leading to feelings of disappointment or frustration, and ultimately devaluation of the partner.
Emotional Intensity: People with BPD can experience emotions very intensely, which may lead to impulsive reactions and drastic shifts in their perceptions of others.
Sense of Unworthiness: Some individuals with BPD struggle with a persistent feeling of being unworthy of love and care. When they receive genuine love and affection, they may not fully believe they deserve it, leading to internal conflicts.
Identity Issues: BPD can involve challenges in forming a stable sense of self, which can lead to difficulties in understanding what they truly want or need in a partner.
It's important to remember that each individual with BPD is unique, and not everyone will experience splitting in the same way or to the same degree. Additionally, with therapy and appropriate treatment, individuals with BPD can work on managing splitting tendencies and developing healthier, more stable relationships.
If you or someone you know is struggling with BPD or relationship issues related to splitting, seeking support from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, can be beneficial. Therapy can provide valuable tools and strategies to navigate the challenges associated with BPD and improve relationship dynamics.