When someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is experiencing a meltdown or emotional crisis, it is essential to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and understanding. Here are some steps you can take to help calm down someone having a BPD meltdown:
Remain Calm: It's crucial to stay calm and composed yourself. Your calm demeanor can help create a sense of stability and safety for the person experiencing the meltdown.
Validate Their Feelings: Let the person know that you understand they are going through a difficult time and that their feelings are valid. Use validating statements such as, "I can see that you're feeling overwhelmed, and it's okay to feel that way."
Use Active Listening: Encourage them to talk about what they are feeling and experiencing. Listen actively and attentively without interrupting or judging. Show that you are genuinely interested in understanding their perspective.
Avoid Judgment or Criticism: Refrain from making judgments or criticizing their emotions or reactions. BPD meltdowns can be intense, but it's important not to dismiss or belittle their feelings.
Offer Reassurance: Provide reassurance that you are there to support them and that they are not alone in their struggles. Reiterate your commitment to being there for them during difficult times.
Encourage Self-Regulation Techniques: Suggest coping strategies that may help them regulate their emotions, such as deep breathing exercises, grounding techniques, or taking a short break to calm down.
Respect Their Need for Space: While being present and supportive is essential, also respect their need for space if they express a desire to be alone for a while. Let them know that you are available if they want to talk later.
Avoid Arguments or Confrontations: During a meltdown, the person's emotions may be heightened, and engaging in arguments or confrontations can escalate the situation. Try to avoid triggering topics or disagreements during this time.
Offer Practical Assistance: If appropriate, offer practical help or solutions to any immediate problems they are facing. Sometimes, helping with practical matters can reduce their stress levels.
Encourage Professional Help: If the person's meltdowns are frequent or significantly impacting their daily life, encourage them to seek professional help, such as therapy or counseling, to work through their emotions and develop healthier coping strategies.
Remember that supporting someone with BPD during a meltdown may require ongoing effort and understanding. It is also essential to take care of yourself during these situations, as it can be emotionally taxing to support someone through intense emotional experiences. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist for yourself as needed.