When individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) experience a "split" in their emotions, they may see things in extreme black-and-white terms, leading to a sudden shift from idealization to devaluation of a person. This phenomenon is commonly referred to as "splitting." During the idealization phase, they may view their favorite person (FP) as perfect, putting them on a pedestal and feeling intense love and admiration for them. However, during the devaluation phase, the same person is seen as flawed, disappointing, or even despised.
It is essential to understand that splitting is a coping mechanism that people with BPD use to deal with intense emotions and interpersonal relationships. When they are in the devaluation phase, they may have negative and critical thoughts about their FP, and their feelings of love and admiration may be temporarily overshadowed by anger, disappointment, or hurt.
During these periods of devaluation, individuals with BPD may indeed think negatively about their FP. However, it's crucial to remember that emotions in BPD can be intense and fluctuate rapidly. As the emotional intensity subsides, they might shift back to seeing their FP in a more positive light during the idealization phase. This cycle of idealization and devaluation can be distressing for both the person with BPD and their FP.
It's worth noting that not all individuals with BPD will exhibit splitting behavior or experience it to the same degree. The severity and frequency of splitting can vary among individuals with BPD, and some may have healthier coping mechanisms and better emotional regulation skills to manage these fluctuations.
If you are the FP of someone with BPD, it can be challenging to navigate the relationship during these intense emotional shifts. It's essential to approach the situation with empathy, understanding, and patience. Encouraging them to seek therapy, such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), can be beneficial in helping them develop healthier coping strategies and build more stable and fulfilling relationships.