Recognizing that you may be mirroring your mother's abusive behavior and not wanting to perpetuate that cycle is a significant step towards personal growth and positive change. Breaking patterns of abusive behavior requires self-awareness, effort, and a commitment to making changes in your life. Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Seek Professional Help: Consider talking to a therapist, counselor, or psychologist who specializes in trauma and abuse. They can help you explore your past experiences, understand how they may be influencing your behavior, and provide guidance on healthier coping strategies and communication techniques.
Practice Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your actions, reactions, and emotions in various situations. Understand your triggers and the patterns of behavior you might be repeating. By identifying these patterns, you can work towards changing them.
Learn Healthy Communication: Improve your communication skills to express yourself assertively and respectfully without resorting to abusive or harmful language or actions. Healthy communication is essential in building and maintaining positive relationships.
Build Empathy: Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand their feelings and perspectives. Empathy helps in fostering compassion and avoiding hurtful behavior.
Establish Boundaries: Learn to set and respect personal boundaries for yourself and others. Boundaries are crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and preventing abusive behavior.
Develop Coping Mechanisms: Find healthy ways to cope with stress, anger, and negative emotions. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones.
Apologize and Make Amends: If you recognize that you have acted inappropriately or hurt someone, apologize sincerely and take responsibility for your actions. Making amends is an essential part of the healing process.
Join Support Groups: Consider joining support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who have experienced similar challenges. Sharing experiences and learning from others can be empowering.
Remember, changing ingrained behaviors takes time and effort. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work towards positive change. Seek help and support from trusted friends, family, or professionals along the way. With determination and self-awareness, you can break the cycle and create healthier relationships.