Yes, people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can experience feelings of regret or ambivalence about leaving someone who was trying to help them, including a therapist. BPD is characterized by intense and unstable emotions, difficulties with self-identity, and challenges in maintaining stable relationships. These factors can play a role in the individual's feelings of regret after making a decision to end a therapeutic relationship.
Several reasons could contribute to this regret:
Idealization and Devaluation: Individuals with BPD often struggle with intense idealization of others, followed by devaluation. During the idealization phase, they may see the therapist as a savior or a perfect figure who can fix all their problems. When the idealization phase ends (usually triggered by perceived disappointment or frustration), they may devalue the therapist and decide to leave the therapeutic relationship.
Fear of Abandonment: People with BPD are highly sensitive to abandonment, and the fear of being abandoned by the therapist can be overwhelming. However, this fear can also lead them to end the relationship preemptively to avoid feeling abandoned first.
Fear of Vulnerability: Therapy requires individuals to be vulnerable and open up about their emotions and past experiences. For someone with BPD, being vulnerable can be frightening, and they may leave the therapist to avoid facing difficult emotions or memories.
Reactive Decision-Making: BPD is associated with impulsive and reactive behavior. In a moment of emotional intensity, someone with BPD might make a decision to leave therapy without fully considering the long-term consequences.
Mixed Feelings and Ambivalence: BPD can lead to experiencing intense and conflicting emotions simultaneously. The individual may have both positive and negative feelings about the therapist, making the decision to leave more challenging and leading to subsequent regret.
Avoidance of Intimacy: Establishing a strong therapeutic alliance involves forming an intimate connection with the therapist. Some individuals with BPD may struggle with this level of intimacy and choose to leave to avoid dealing with these feelings.
It's important to note that regret about leaving a therapist is not unique to BPD and can occur in other mental health conditions or even in individuals without mental health issues. Additionally, not everyone with BPD will experience regret in this situation, as individuals vary in their responses and coping mechanisms.
If you or someone you know is experiencing regret after leaving a therapist or facing challenges with BPD, it's crucial to seek professional support. A mental health professional can help explore these feelings, work through the underlying issues, and determine the best course of action moving forward.