In Islam, obedience and respect towards parents are highly emphasized and considered a fundamental duty for Muslims. However, this obedience is not absolute and does not extend to obeying them if they ask you to do something that goes against the principles of Islam or your own moral values. Islam places great importance on upholding justice and righteousness.
The Quran, the central religious text of Islam, acknowledges the importance of honoring and respecting parents. For example, in Surah Al-Isra (17:23-24), it is stated:
"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor."
However, this obedience to parents is conditioned on it being within the framework of Islamic values. If parents ask their children to engage in sinful or immoral acts, then a Muslim is not obligated to obey them. In Islam, following Allah's commands and avoiding sinful behavior takes precedence over blind obedience to anyone, including parents.
Regarding dealing with abusive or toxic parents, Islam promotes maintaining family ties and resolving conflicts through peaceful means. However, it also recognizes that in cases of harm or injustice, it is essential to protect oneself. In such situations, seeking help from trusted family members, elders, or religious authorities may be beneficial.
Islam encourages communication, understanding, and compassion within the family. If there are disagreements with your parents about certain matters, it is recommended to communicate respectfully, explain your perspective calmly, and try to find common ground. If needed, involve a mediator or counselor to facilitate discussions.
If the situation becomes unbearable and abusive, and there is a risk of physical or emotional harm, seeking professional help, and reaching out to relevant authorities may be necessary to ensure your safety and well-being.
It is important to remember that Islamic teachings emphasize balance and moderation. While obedience to parents is essential, it should not lead to compromising your faith or personal values. It is always best to seek guidance from knowledgeable religious scholars or counselors who can provide context-specific advice based on Islamic principles.