It is essential to recognize that not all narcissists behave in the same way, and individuals with narcissistic traits or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can display a wide range of behaviors in relationships. While some narcissists may engage in a pattern of coming back to their former partners (hoovering) after a fallout, others may not. Several factors could contribute to why a narcissist may not come back after a fallout:
New Supply: Narcissists are often driven by a need for validation, admiration, and attention from others. If they find a new source of supply – someone who fulfills their emotional needs and provides the attention they crave – they may shift their focus to this new individual and not feel the need to return to a former partner.
Loss of Interest: Narcissists can be prone to idealizing and devaluing others. After a fallout, they might devalue their former partner to the point where they lose interest or see them as no longer worthy of their attention.
Perception of Threat: In some cases, the fallout may have been severe enough that the narcissist perceives the former partner as a threat to their self-esteem or reputation. They might avoid returning to prevent facing potential challenges to their grandiose self-image.
Sense of Control: Narcissists often seek control in their relationships. If they feel that they have successfully asserted dominance over their former partner or believe that the breakup was on their terms, they might not see a need to come back.
Fear of Consequences: Sometimes, a fallout can lead to legal actions, social consequences, or other repercussions that the narcissist wants to avoid, deterring them from trying to re-enter the former relationship.
New Life Circumstances: Life changes, such as relocating to a different place or significant personal events, may lead the narcissist to move on and not return to the previous relationship.
It's important to remember that whether a narcissist comes back or not, it is generally not in the best interest of the former partner to re-establish contact. Relationships with narcissists can be emotionally and psychologically harmful, and breaking free from such a dynamic is an opportunity for personal growth and healing. If you have experienced a fallout with a narcissistic individual, it is crucial to focus on your well-being, seek support from friends, family, or a therapist, and engage in self-care practices to help you heal and move forward in a healthy way.