Question

As someone with BPD can you describe exactly how does it feel inside of you when someone says or does sonething that offends/wrongs you? And how is that different from a normal person?

Answer 1

It's important to note that people with BPD experience emotions intensely and may have difficulty regulating their emotions effectively. When someone with BPD feels offended or wronged, they might experience a more intense emotional reaction than someone without the disorder. Here are some common feelings and reactions someone with BPD might have:

1. Intense emotional response: People with BPD might feel overwhelmed by strong emotions such as anger, sadness, or anxiety when they feel hurt or wronged. The emotional reaction can be immediate, intense, and challenging to control.

2. Fear of abandonment: A core feature of BPD is a fear of abandonment. When someone says or does something offensive, the person with BPD might interpret it as a sign that they are being rejected or abandoned. This can lead to feelings of panic or desperation.

3. Splitting: Splitting is a cognitive distortion in which a person with BPD may see things in black-and-white terms, either all good or all bad. If they perceive that someone has wronged them, they might rapidly shift from idealizing the person to demonizing them.

4. Emotional dysregulation: Difficulties in regulating emotions are common in BPD. A perceived offense might trigger emotional dysregulation, causing the person to feel out of control and overwhelmed.

5. Self-harming behaviors: In some cases, individuals with BPD may engage in self-harming behaviors, such as cutting or reckless behaviors, as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions triggered by perceived offenses.

6. Difficulty letting go: Unlike some individuals who might be able to let go of a minor offense, people with BPD may struggle to move past perceived wrongs and may ruminate on them for extended periods.

It's essential to understand that everyone, regardless of whether they have BPD or not, can feel hurt or offended by certain actions or words. However, the intensity and the way emotions are processed and expressed can differ significantly for individuals with BPD. The emotional reactions in BPD can be more intense, and individuals may have a harder time returning to a baseline emotional state.

It's important to approach individuals with BPD with empathy and understanding. Therapy, particularly dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can be beneficial in helping individuals with BPD develop healthier coping mechanisms for managing emotions and interpersonal interactions.