Navigating relationships with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be challenging, especially during moments of conflict or emotional dysregulation. It's understandable that you want to mend the friendship and reconnect with your best friend. Here are some suggestions to consider:
Give Space: When someone with BPD is experiencing intense emotions or feels hurt, they may need some time and space to process their feelings. It's essential to respect their need for space and avoid pushing for immediate contact.
Express Empathy: When you feel it's appropriate to reach out, express empathy and understanding. Let your friend know that you care about her and value the friendship, and you are there to listen if she wants to talk.
Validate Her Feelings: Validate your friend's emotions and experiences, even if you don't fully understand them. Let her know that you acknowledge her feelings and that you didn't intend to hurt her.
Be Patient: Recovery from conflicts may take time, especially with BPD. Be patient and understanding, as it might take your friend a while to process her emotions and thoughts.
Respect Boundaries: If your friend asks for more time or space, respect her boundaries. Pushing too hard for contact may create additional stress and tension in the relationship.
Encourage Seeking Support: Suggest that your friend seeks support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in BPD. Professional help can provide her with valuable coping strategies and emotional regulation skills.
Reflect on the Relationship: Take some time to reflect on the dynamics of your friendship. Consider if there are any patterns or triggers that may have contributed to the recent conflict. Reflecting on the relationship can help you understand each other better.
Seek Support: During challenging times, it's essential to have support for yourself as well. Reach out to other friends, family members, or a therapist to talk about your feelings and concerns.
Ultimately, the decision to keep trying to contact your friend or to give her more space depends on the specific situation and your friend's preferences. It's crucial to balance your desire to reconnect with her needs and emotions. If you are uncertain about how to proceed, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor who can provide personalized advice based on the specifics of the situation.