When a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) decides to end a relationship with a narcissistic partner, the dynamics between the two individuals can vary widely based on their specific personalities, coping mechanisms, and the nature of the relationship. Here are some possible outcomes:
Narcissistic Injury: The narcissist may experience a sense of narcissistic injury, which is a blow to their ego and self-esteem. They might feel rejected and humiliated by the Borderline's decision to leave, and this can trigger intense emotions, including anger, rage, and resentment.
Manipulation and Hoovering: In an attempt to regain control over the situation and the Borderline partner, the narcissist may resort to manipulation tactics. They might try to guilt-trip the Borderline, promise to change, or use other forms of emotional manipulation to get them back into the relationship. This behavior is known as "hoovering."
Idealization or Devaluation: If the narcissist cannot convince the Borderline to return, they might switch between idealizing and devaluing them. Initially, they may idealize the Borderline and try to win them back by portraying themselves as perfect partners. However, if the Borderline remains firm in their decision to leave, the narcissist may devalue them, resorting to insults, blame, or portraying them as unworthy.
Smear Campaigns: In some cases, the narcissist may engage in a smear campaign against the Borderline, attempting to tarnish their reputation and make them appear unstable or unreliable to others. This is done to protect their own image and to discredit the Borderline's decision to leave.
Emotional Turmoil: The narcissist may struggle to cope with the loss of control and their need for admiration and attention, leading to emotional turmoil. They might experience a sense of emptiness and seek new sources of validation to fill the void left by the Borderline's departure.
New Source of Supply: Narcissists often seek out new sources of narcissistic supply, which are individuals who provide them with the admiration and validation they crave. They may quickly enter into new relationships to fulfill this need.
It's important to note that not all relationships between a person with BPD and a narcissist follow the same patterns, and individual differences can lead to unique outcomes. Additionally, it's essential to remember that both Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder are complex mental health conditions that require understanding and empathy from all parties involved.
If you or someone you know is dealing with the aftermath of leaving a narcissistic relationship, it's essential to seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals who can provide guidance and assistance during this challenging time.