It's challenging to determine the exact reasons for your ex's behavior without more context or information about her specific situation. However, there could be several possible explanations for why your ex with borderline personality disorder (BPD) keeps texting you:
Emotional Instability: People with BPD often experience intense and fluctuating emotions. They may feel a strong attachment to their past relationships and struggle to let go, leading them to reach out for emotional support or validation.
Fear of Abandonment: Individuals with BPD commonly have a fear of abandonment, which can make it challenging for them to cope with the end of a relationship. Texting you might be a way to alleviate this fear temporarily or seek reassurance that you are still there for them.
Idealization and Devaluation: BPD is characterized by a pattern of idealizing and devaluing people in relationships. Your ex might go through phases where they idealize you and want to reconnect, but then later devalue you and push you away.
Seeking Validation: People with BPD often seek validation and approval from others. Texting you might be an attempt to get positive attention and feel better about themselves.
Difficulty Moving On: Ending a relationship can be particularly challenging for individuals with BPD. They may struggle to process their emotions and find it hard to move on, leading them to keep reaching out to familiar people from their past.
Mixed Feelings: Even if your ex is getting attention from her "favorite person," she may still have mixed feelings about the breakup or unresolved emotions regarding the relationship with you.
It's important to remember that BPD can significantly impact a person's emotions, behaviors, and relationships. While understanding these possible reasons can be helpful, it's essential to set boundaries for your own well-being. If you find the constant texting and communication distressing or hindering your ability to move on, it may be necessary to establish clear boundaries with your ex or consider limiting or ending communication altogether.
Additionally, both you and your ex may benefit from seeking support from mental health professionals to navigate the complexities of the breakup and to develop healthier coping strategies moving forward.