It's understandable that you may feel conflicted about how to respond to your grandpa's current condition given his past behavior towards your family. It's important to recognize that dementia is a neurological condition that affects memory, cognitive abilities, and behavior. People with dementia often experience changes in their personalities and emotions.
While it's natural to have feelings of hurt, anger, or frustration due to past experiences, seeking revenge or intentionally trying to make your grandpa feel the way he made you feel when he was verbally abusive is not a healthy or productive response. Dementia can cause confusion and distress for the individual, and intentionally causing them discomfort or anxiety may not be an appropriate way to address past issues.
Instead, consider the following:
Focus on Empathy: Try to understand that dementia has changed your grandpa's behavior, and he may not be fully aware of his past actions or their impact. Showing empathy and compassion can help improve your interactions with him.
Forgive for Your Own Well-being: Forgiving doesn't mean condoning past abusive behavior, but it can help you let go of negative emotions and find peace within yourself.
Set Boundaries: If you find that interactions with your grandpa are still emotionally challenging, it's essential to establish healthy boundaries while maintaining respect for his condition.
Seek Support: If you find it difficult to cope with these complex emotions, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional.
Focus on Positive Interactions: Instead of seeking to make him feel the way he made you feel, focus on positive interactions that can bring comfort and joy to both of you during his challenging time.
Ultimately, how you choose to handle the situation is a personal decision. However, prioritizing empathy, understanding the effects of dementia, and taking care of your emotional well-being are essential aspects to consider. It may also be helpful to explore forgiveness as a means of finding peace and healing from the past.