It is understandable to feel hurt and conflicted about your relationship with your sister given the experiences you've described. Dealing with someone who has hurt you physically, emotionally, and has engaged in harmful behaviors can be incredibly challenging and emotionally taxing. It is essential to prioritize your own well-being and safety in such situations.
Having boundaries and distance from a person who has caused you harm is a natural response to protect yourself from further pain and damage. It is not wrong to want to distance yourself from toxic or abusive relationships, even if that person is a family member. Your emotional and physical safety should always come first.
However, it can also be beneficial to seek support for yourself, such as through therapy or counseling. Speaking with a mental health professional can help you navigate your feelings, establish healthy boundaries, and find ways to cope with the complex emotions that come with dealing with a challenging family situation.
Remember that choosing to create space from someone doesn't mean you don't care about them or wish them well. It merely means recognizing the need to protect yourself from harm. If your sister seeks help and makes positive changes in her life, you might consider reevaluating your relationship at a later time, but this decision is entirely up to you and should be based on your well-being and comfort.
Ultimately, your feelings and experiences are valid, and seeking professional guidance can be a valuable step in understanding and addressing these complex family dynamics.