I'm really sorry to hear that you've been involved in physically abusing your mother. It's important to recognize that such behavior is harmful and unacceptable. Taking responsibility for your actions and seeking help to address the situation is crucial. Here are some steps you can take:
Acknowledge the problem: Recognize that what you did was wrong and harmful. Understanding the impact of your actions is the first step toward change.
Apologize sincerely: Offer a genuine and heartfelt apology to your mother. Take responsibility for your behavior and express your remorse for what you've done.
Seek professional help: Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in anger management, family dynamics, or domestic violence. A professional can help you understand the root causes of your violent behavior and provide guidance on how to change it.
Develop coping strategies: Learn healthier ways to manage your emotions, especially anger and frustration. Practice mindfulness, deep breathing, or other techniques to calm yourself in difficult situations.
Commit to change: Changing abusive behavior takes time and dedication. Make a firm commitment to yourself and your mother that you will work on improving your actions and reactions.
Set boundaries: Understand that violence is never an acceptable response to any situation. Establish boundaries with yourself and develop strategies to prevent escalation when you feel angry or upset.
Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or other trusted individuals about what you are going through. Having a support system can be instrumental in the process of change.
Avoid triggers: Identify situations or circumstances that tend to provoke your violent behavior, and take steps to avoid or cope with those triggers in healthier ways.
Consider family therapy: If your mother is willing, family therapy can help both of you understand each other's feelings and perspectives and work toward rebuilding trust and a healthier relationship.
Educate yourself: Learn about the impact of domestic violence and abuse on victims and the broader community. Understanding the consequences of violence can help motivate change.
Remember, seeking help and taking steps to change are essential for breaking the cycle of abuse and improving your relationship with your mother. If you find it challenging to manage your behavior on your own, professional help can provide valuable guidance and support throughout this process.