As the family scapegoat, it can be incredibly difficult and painful to deal with the feelings of betrayal and hurt from those who didn't abuse you directly but stood by and did nothing to protect you. It's essential to acknowledge and validate these feelings, as they are entirely valid and understandable.
Here are some common emotions that individuals in this position may experience:
Anger and Resentment: You may feel anger and resentment towards those who witnessed your abuse and chose not to intervene. This is a natural response to feeling let down by people who should have protected and supported you.
Betrayal: The sense of betrayal can be significant, especially when the people who didn't act were family members or close friends. It can be challenging to come to terms with the fact that those you trusted did not come to your aid.
Hurt and Rejection: Feeling disregarded and rejected by the people who should have cared for you can lead to deep emotional wounds. The emotional impact of neglect and lack of support can be long-lasting.
Confusion and Self-Doubt: You may find yourself questioning why these individuals didn't help you, leading to self-doubt and a struggle to understand why you were treated this way.
Isolation: The feeling of being isolated and unsupported by those around you can be overwhelming. It can lead to a sense of being different from others or not belonging.
Grief: Experiencing abuse and neglect while also being let down by others can lead to a sense of loss and grief for the family dynamics and relationships you wish you had.
It's crucial to remember that the way others behaved and treated you is a reflection of them and their shortcomings, not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. The lack of support and intervention from others doesn't diminish your right to be treated with love, respect, and compassion.
Healing from these experiences can be a challenging process, but it is possible. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and family dynamics can be beneficial. They can help you process your emotions, gain insights into the family dynamics, and work towards building healthier relationships and boundaries.
Additionally, finding support from friends, support groups, or online communities can provide a sense of validation and understanding. Remember that you have the power to break free from harmful family dynamics and build a healthier and happier life for yourself. Healing may take time, but with support and self-compassion, you can work towards emotional recovery and well-being.