When narcissists lose or face failure, their behavior can vary depending on the individual and the specific situation. However, there are some common patterns that narcissists may exhibit in such circumstances:
Deflection of blame: Narcissists have difficulty accepting responsibility for their mistakes or failures. Instead of acknowledging their own shortcomings, they often try to shift the blame onto others or external circumstances. They may point fingers at colleagues, subordinates, family members, or even random events as the cause of their failure.
Denial and minimization: In order to protect their fragile self-esteem, narcissists may deny or downplay the significance of their loss. They might try to convince themselves and others that it wasn't a big deal or that they didn't want it anyway.
Anger and aggression: Narcissists can become highly reactive when they experience a loss, especially if their grandiose self-image is threatened. They may lash out in anger, verbally or even physically, at those they perceive as responsible for their failure or at anyone who challenges their sense of superiority.
Seeking validation and sympathy: Despite their grandiose exterior, narcissists often crave validation and admiration from others. When they lose, they may seek sympathy and attention from friends, family, or colleagues, hoping that others will console them and reaffirm their belief in their exceptional abilities.
Isolation and withdrawal: Some narcissists may withdraw and isolate themselves when they face failure. They might feel humiliated or embarrassed and retreat to protect their ego from further damage. During this time, they might nurse feelings of resentment and bitterness.
Revenge and sabotage: In certain cases, narcissists might seek revenge against those they believe are responsible for their loss. They could attempt to undermine or sabotage their perceived rivals to regain a sense of power and control.
Immediate redirection to new goals: Narcissists often dislike dwelling on failures for long. To preserve their self-image, they might quickly shift their focus to new goals or projects that they believe will bring them success and admiration.
Depression and feelings of worthlessness: Underneath their grandiose exterior, narcissists can harbor deep feelings of insecurity and worthlessness. A significant loss can trigger these emotions, leading to periods of depression and emotional turmoil.
It's essential to remember that not all individuals who display some of these behaviors are necessarily narcissists, as occasional feelings of disappointment, defensiveness, or self-preservation can be normal human reactions. However, if someone consistently displays a pervasive pattern of these behaviors and exhibits other traits of narcissism, they might have a narcissistic personality disorder. Dealing with a narcissistic individual can be challenging, especially in times of loss, as they often prioritize their own needs and feelings above others.