I'm really sorry to hear that you've been dealing with such a challenging situation. It's important to prioritize your safety and well-being in any relationship. While it's commendable that your husband has made some changes, verbal abuse is still not acceptable.
However, it's essential to recognize that you cannot be solely responsible for his behavior or emotions. It's not your duty to help him calm down during episodes of verbal abuse. Instead, you should focus on your own safety and mental health. Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Set boundaries: Communicate clearly and assertively about what behavior is unacceptable. Let him know that verbal abuse is not something you can tolerate and that you expect respect in your relationship.
Seek professional help: Encourage your husband to participate in counseling or therapy to address the root causes of his behavior. Individual therapy can help him work through his emotions and learn healthier ways of coping with stress and anger.
Couples therapy: If you both feel comfortable and safe doing so, consider couples therapy. A qualified therapist can help you both communicate more effectively, understand each other's needs, and work on the relationship dynamics.
Build a support network: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups to share your experiences and seek emotional support. You don't have to go through this alone.
Safety plan: If there is any concern for your safety, develop a safety plan to protect yourself during volatile situations. This might involve knowing where to go or who to call in an emergency.
Focus on self-care: Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Engage in activities that bring you joy, reduce stress, and promote well-being.
Know your options: Educate yourself about local resources and organizations that can provide support for people in abusive relationships.
It's important to remember that while people can change, it takes time and consistent effort. If you ever feel unsafe or that the situation is not improving, consider seeking legal advice or support from domestic violence shelters.
Remember, your safety and well-being come first, and it's essential to take steps to protect yourself and seek the help you need.