Feeling like a selfish person can stem from various psychological and emotional factors. It's important to remember that feeling this way doesn't necessarily mean you are selfish, but rather, it reflects your perception and self-assessment. Here are some possible reasons why you might feel this way:
Self-Criticism: People who are hard on themselves often tend to focus on their perceived flaws and shortcomings. This self-critical mindset might lead you to interpret your actions as selfish, even when they might not be.
High Standards: If you set very high standards for yourself and believe you should always prioritize others over yourself, any act of self-care or self-focus could be seen as selfishness.
Past Experiences or Conditioning: Early life experiences or messages received from caregivers, society, or significant others can shape our self-perception. If you were repeatedly told that caring for yourself is selfish or witnessed people being negatively labeled for prioritizing their needs, you might internalize those beliefs.
Empathy Overload: If you are highly empathetic and often consider others' feelings and needs before your own, you might feel like you are being selfish when you occasionally need to attend to your own well-being.
Boundary Setting: Sometimes, setting healthy boundaries and saying "no" to certain requests or demands can be misconstrued as selfishness, particularly if you are not used to asserting your needs.
Comparison with Others: Comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy or selfishness, especially if you perceive others as being more giving or altruistic.
Guilt: Feelings of guilt can arise when you prioritize your needs over others. This guilt might amplify your perception of being selfish, even if it's essential for maintaining your overall well-being.
Depression or Anxiety: Mental health conditions can distort self-perception and lead to negative self-evaluations. Depression, anxiety, or other mood disorders can contribute to feelings of selfishness.
Cultural or Gender Expectations: Societal expectations, cultural norms, or gender roles can influence how you perceive your behavior. For example, certain cultures or gender norms may expect selflessness, and deviating from these expectations might lead to feeling selfish.
If you consistently feel like you're a selfish person and it's causing distress or affecting your relationships, consider talking to a mental health professional. They can help you explore these feelings in-depth, challenge negative thought patterns, and provide strategies to improve self-awareness, self-compassion, and emotional well-being. It's essential to remember that taking care of your own needs and well-being is not inherently selfish; it's a crucial aspect of maintaining a balanced and fulfilling life.