It's concerning to hear that you have thoughts about violently hurting people who upset you. These thoughts are not uncommon, but they can be a cause for concern if they are persistent or if they lead to harmful actions.
There can be various reasons why you might experience such intense thoughts and emotions:
Anger and Frustration: When someone upsets us, especially if it happens repeatedly or in significant ways, it can trigger intense feelings of anger and frustration. These emotions can sometimes be so overwhelming that they lead to thoughts of retaliation or violence as a way to release the pent-up emotions.
Fantasy as Coping Mechanism: For some individuals, thoughts of violence might emerge as a coping mechanism to deal with feelings of powerlessness or vulnerability. Fantasizing about harming others might temporarily provide a sense of control or relief, even though it's not a healthy or acceptable way to address the underlying issues.
Lack of Empathy: A lack of empathy or understanding of the consequences of violent actions might contribute to these thoughts. If one fails to consider the pain and suffering inflicted on others, it becomes easier to entertain violent ideas.
Learned Behavior: Exposure to violence or aggression in the environment (such as through media or personal experiences) can influence one's thoughts and reactions, making aggressive responses seem more acceptable or normal.
Mental Health Issues: Certain mental health conditions, such as anger management issues, impulse control disorders, or certain personality disorders, can contribute to aggressive thoughts and behaviors.
Social Isolation: Feeling isolated or disconnected from others might amplify feelings of anger and make violent thoughts more appealing as a way to regain control or "get back" at those who upset you.
It's essential to recognize that violent thoughts are not healthy or appropriate ways to handle difficult emotions or interpersonal conflicts. It's crucial to address these thoughts and emotions in a constructive and non-harmful manner.
If you find yourself struggling with violent thoughts or if these thoughts are causing distress or impairment in your daily life, I strongly recommend seeking help from a mental health professional. They can provide support, help you understand the underlying reasons behind these thoughts, and teach you healthier coping strategies to manage anger and frustration. Additionally, they can assess if there are any underlying mental health issues that need to be addressed. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and it can lead to a safer and healthier path forward.