The phenomenon you are describing is commonly known as "reactance." Reactance is a psychological response that occurs when individuals feel that their freedom or autonomy is being threatened or restricted. When someone tells you not to do something you want to do, it can trigger this reactance response, leading you to desire the forbidden action even more.
Several factors contribute to why reactance occurs:
Desire for Autonomy: Humans have an inherent need for autonomy and control over their decisions and actions. When someone tries to take away this sense of freedom by imposing restrictions, it can trigger a strong reaction to assert one's independence.
Rebellion: Reactance can be driven by a desire to rebel against authority or social norms. The more forcefully someone tells you not to do something, the more you may feel the urge to challenge that authority or resist their control.
Psychological Reactivity: People vary in their level of psychological reactance. Some individuals are naturally more resistant to being told what to do, while others may be more compliant.
Forbidden Fruit Effect: The idea of something being forbidden can make it more alluring and exciting. The notion that you are not supposed to do something can create a sense of novelty and intrigue, making the action more tempting.
Defiance and Independence: Reactance can be a way of asserting one's independence and demonstrating that they won't be easily influenced or controlled by others.
It's important to note that the level of reactance experienced can depend on various factors, such as the seriousness of the restriction, the relationship with the person giving the instruction, and the context in which it occurs.
Understanding reactance can be helpful in communication and influence. Instead of using a commanding or restrictive tone, people can often be more effective in getting their message across by presenting information in a way that respects the individual's autonomy and allows them to make their own informed decisions.
Additionally, being aware of your own reactance can help you make more conscious choices and consider the reasons behind your desire to do something when someone tells you not to. It's essential to strike a balance between asserting your autonomy and considering the potential consequences of your actions in various situations.