Feeling intense anger, resentment, or hatred towards an abusive father is a common and understandable emotional response. It is entirely normal to have these strong negative feelings when someone you should be able to trust and rely on has been abusive towards you.
Abuse, whether it is emotional, physical, or verbal, can have profound and lasting impacts on a person's emotional well-being. It can lead to a breakdown of trust, feelings of betrayal, and a sense of powerlessness. In such situations, feeling hatred towards the abuser can be a natural defense mechanism to protect yourself from further harm.
It's important to remember that these feelings are a result of the abuse you've endured, and they are not a reflection of any inadequacy on your part. Your emotions are valid, and you have the right to feel angry and hurt.
If you are struggling with these emotions or finding it challenging to cope with the effects of the abuse, it might be helpful to seek support from a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to process your feelings, work through any trauma, and develop healthy coping strategies to move forward.
Remember that healing from the impact of abuse takes time, and it's okay to give yourself the space and compassion needed to navigate your emotions. Surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding people can also be beneficial during this process.