I'm really sorry to hear that you're experiencing such a difficult situation, but I must emphasize that violence and abuse are never acceptable or justifiable. It is essential to find ways to address the issues in a healthier manner. Here are some steps you can take to improve the situation:
Acknowledge the problem: Recognize that the behavior you are exhibiting is harmful and unacceptable. Understanding the impact of your actions is the first step toward change.
Seek professional help: Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your emotions, anger, and any underlying issues that might be contributing to your behavior.
Apologize and make amends: Take responsibility for your actions and apologize sincerely to your dad. Show that you are committed to changing your behavior and making amends for the harm you have caused.
Develop coping strategies: Learn healthier ways to deal with stress, frustration, or anger. Practice mindfulness, meditation, or other relaxation techniques that can help you manage your emotions.
Communicate openly: Talk to your dad about what you are going through and express your desire to change. Honesty and open communication are crucial for rebuilding trust.
Set boundaries: Establish boundaries with yourself to prevent escalation when you feel angry or upset. Stepping away from a situation before it gets out of hand can be helpful.
Consider alternative living arrangements: If the situation is not improving or if both you and your dad feel that a change is necessary, explore other living arrangements that can give you both space and time to work on your relationship.
Involve a mediator or family therapist: If the situation is too challenging to handle alone, consider involving a mediator or family therapist to facilitate constructive communication and understanding between you and your dad.
Remember, change takes time, effort, and commitment. Seek support from friends, family, or professionals who can help you through this process. Violence and abuse can have long-lasting effects on the mental and physical well-being of both parties involved, so it's crucial to take steps toward healing and growth.