It's commendable that you want to address and stop the behavior of verbal abuse towards your boyfriend while in anger. Recognizing the need for change is the first step towards personal growth and healthier relationships. Here are some steps you can take to work on this issue:
Acknowledge the problem: Acknowledge that verbal abuse is harmful and can cause emotional damage to your partner and the relationship. Understand that it's not an acceptable way to express your anger or frustration.
Reflect on triggers: Take some time to reflect on what triggers your anger and leads to verbal abuse. Understanding your triggers can help you develop strategies to manage your emotions better.
Seek professional help: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who specializes in anger management and relationship issues. They can provide valuable insights, coping techniques, and support as you work on changing your behavior.
Practice mindfulness and self-awareness: Develop mindfulness practices to become more aware of your emotions as they arise. Learning to recognize your emotions before they escalate can help you respond in a more constructive manner.
Learn healthy communication skills: Work on improving your communication skills so that you can express your feelings and frustrations in a non-abusive manner. Focus on using "I" statements and avoid blaming or attacking your partner.
Take a break during conflicts: If you feel overwhelmed by anger during an argument, take a break and step away from the situation. This will give you time to cool down and collect your thoughts before continuing the conversation.
Develop coping mechanisms: Find healthy ways to cope with anger and stress. This might include engaging in physical activity, practicing relaxation techniques, or pursuing hobbies that help you release tension.
Apologize and take responsibility: If you do engage in verbal abuse, apologize sincerely to your boyfriend. Taking responsibility for your actions and showing genuine remorse is essential for rebuilding trust.
Set boundaries: Communicate with your boyfriend about your commitment to change, and work together to set boundaries on what is and isn't acceptable in your interactions.
Be patient and persistent: Changing behavior takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem.
Remember that it's crucial to treat your partner with respect and kindness. If you find it challenging to manage your anger and the verbal abuse persists, seeking ongoing support from a professional is essential. Your partner's well-being and the health of your relationship are worth investing in positive change.