Acknowledging and taking responsibility for your behavior is the first step toward stopping verbal abuse. It's commendable that you want to make a positive change, and here are some steps you can take:
Recognize the issue: Be honest with yourself about your actions and their impact on others. Understand that verbal abuse is harmful and not acceptable in any relationship.
Seek professional help: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who specializes in anger management and communication skills. They can provide valuable insights and techniques to help you manage your emotions and change your behavior.
Practice empathy: Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand how your words and actions may be affecting them. Empathy can help you develop a more compassionate and understanding approach.
Learn healthy communication skills: Work on developing better communication techniques, such as active listening and assertiveness, that allow you to express your feelings without resorting to verbal abuse.
Take a break: When you feel anger building up inside you, take a break from the situation. Step away and give yourself time to calm down before engaging in any conversation.
Use "I" statements: When expressing your feelings or concerns, use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example, say, "I feel upset when..." instead of "You always make me angry when..."
Identify triggers: Try to identify the triggers that lead to your fits of anger. Understanding what sets you off can help you find healthier ways to cope with those triggers.
Practice self-care: Engage in activities that help you manage stress and improve your emotional well-being, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time with supportive friends and family.
Set boundaries: Respect others' boundaries and establish your own. Recognize that everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.
Apologize and make amends: If you've been verbally abusive to someone, offer a sincere apology and commit to changing your behavior. Be patient with yourself and recognize that change takes time.
Remember, changing ingrained behavior patterns can be challenging, but it is possible with determination and support. Be kind to yourself throughout this process and keep in mind that seeking help and taking positive steps are signs of growth and strength.