Dealing with a verbally abusive acquaintance, regardless of their personality type, is challenging and requires careful consideration. It's essential to address the situation with assertiveness, confidence, and maturity. Here are some steps you can take to handle the situation:
Stay calm and composed: Verbal abusers often thrive on eliciting emotional reactions. By remaining calm and collected, you deny them the satisfaction of getting under your skin. Take deep breaths and try not to let their words affect you emotionally.
Set boundaries: Let the ESTJ acquaintance know that their behavior is unacceptable and that you will not tolerate verbal abuse. Be firm and clear about your boundaries, emphasizing that you expect respectful communication.
Use "I" statements: When discussing your feelings about their behavior, use "I" statements to express how their actions affect you. For example, say, "I feel hurt and disrespected when you speak to me in that manner."
Seek support from others: Talk to friends, family, or colleagues about the situation. They can provide emotional support, perspective, and potentially help address the issue if they witness the abuse.
Document incidents: Keep a record of specific instances of verbal abuse, including dates, times, and what was said. Having a written record can be useful if you need to escalate the situation or involve others, such as HR at work.
Avoid confrontation in the heat of the moment: If the ESTJ acquaintance becomes verbally abusive during a conversation, consider stepping away and revisiting the issue later when both of you are calmer.
Appeal to their logical side: ESTJs tend to value logic and practicality. If possible, try to reason with them using clear, rational arguments. However, recognize that some individuals may not be receptive to reason when they are in an emotionally charged state.
Seek mediation: If the situation does not improve, consider seeking help from a mediator or a neutral third party who can facilitate a constructive conversation between you and the ESTJ acquaintance.
Know when to walk away: If the verbal abuse continues despite your efforts, it may be best to distance yourself from this person. Protect your well-being and mental health by limiting contact with toxic individuals.
Remember, it's not about trying to "outsmart" the ESTJ acquaintance, but rather finding a constructive way to address the issue and protect yourself from their harmful behavior. If the situation becomes too overwhelming or dangerous, don't hesitate to seek professional support or advice.