If your partner has expressed that they feel hurt by your light jokes and teasing and perceives it as verbal abuse, it's essential to take their feelings seriously and address the situation with empathy and understanding. What may seem playful to you could be interpreted differently by your partner, and their feelings are valid.
Here are some steps you can take to navigate this situation:
Listen to their concerns: Give your partner the space to express their feelings and experiences without becoming defensive. Be open to understanding how your words and actions impact them emotionally.
Validate their feelings: Let your partner know that you hear and acknowledge their feelings. Even if your intentions were playful, it doesn't negate the impact of the words on their emotions.
Reflect on your behavior: Take an honest look at your jokes and teasing. Are there instances where they may have been hurtful or crossed boundaries? Consider whether there are patterns in your behavior that could be causing distress to your partner.
Apologize and take responsibility: If you realize that your jokes have caused pain, apologize sincerely. Let your partner know that you didn't intend to hurt them, and you'll work on being more mindful of your words in the future.
Communicate your intentions: Explain to your partner that you never meant to be hurtful and that your intention was to be playful and light-hearted. However, acknowledge that you understand how it might have been perceived differently.
Find common ground: Have an open and honest conversation about your communication styles and what is acceptable to both of you. Establish boundaries and agree on what kind of teasing is okay and what crosses the line.
Consider professional help: If you find it challenging to navigate these conversations effectively, consider seeking couples counseling or therapy to work through your communication issues together.
Be patient and understanding: Changing communication patterns takes time and effort. Be patient with each other as you both work towards healthier ways of relating to each other.
Remember that healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and open communication. It's crucial to create an environment where both partners feel safe expressing their emotions and concerns without fear of being dismissed or invalidated. By being receptive to your partner's feelings and working together to find a solution, you can strengthen your relationship and create a more supportive and loving dynamic.