It's commendable that you want to help someone in need, but it's also essential to prioritize your safety and well-being. Supporting someone who verbally abuses and physically harms you can be emotionally draining and detrimental to your mental health.
Here are some steps you can consider to protect yourself while also dealing with feelings of guilt:
Establish boundaries: Set clear boundaries with the person who is abusing you. Let them know that you cannot tolerate verbal or physical abuse, and you will not engage with them if they continue this behavior.
Seek professional advice: Talk to a therapist or counselor about your situation. They can help you understand your feelings and provide guidance on how to cope with the guilt and emotional challenges you're facing.
Evaluate the relationship: Consider the overall impact of this relationship on your life. If it is consistently negative and harmful, it may be necessary to reevaluate its place in your life.
Get support from others: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups to share your experiences and feelings. Talking to others who have been through similar situations can help you feel understood and less alone.
Prioritize your safety: Your safety should be the top priority. If you're in immediate danger, seek help from local support services or law enforcement.
Offer help in a different way: If you still want to assist the person in need, consider providing support in ways that don't directly involve you interacting with them, such as connecting them to social services or charitable organizations.
Practice self-compassion: Understand that it's okay to prioritize your well-being and set boundaries in relationships. You are not abandoning the person; you are taking care of yourself.
Educate yourself: Learn about codependency and enabling behavior, as these may be factors influencing your desire to help despite the abuse. Understanding these dynamics can help you break free from harmful patterns.
Give yourself time: Healing from an abusive relationship and navigating complex emotions takes time. Be patient with yourself throughout this process.
Remember, it's not selfish to prioritize your safety and well-being. Helping others is admirable, but not at the expense of your own health and happiness. If the person is not willing to change their behavior or seek help for their issues, it might be necessary to distance yourself for your own sake. Professional support can be invaluable in guiding you through this challenging process.