I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult situation. It's important to remember that abusive behavior is never justified, regardless of the circumstances. While I can't provide personal advice, I can offer some general suggestions for handling challenging situations like this:
Safety first: If you feel physically unsafe or fear for your well-being, prioritize your safety above all else. Consider seeking help from friends, family, or professional support services.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a counselor to talk about what you're going through. Having someone to confide in can provide emotional support and a different perspective on the situation.
Address the root issues: Reflect on the reasons why the relationship reached such a difficult point. Consider seeking couples counseling if both of you are willing to work on the problems together.
Communication: If you decide to work through the issues, try to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings, needs, and boundaries. However, if the relationship remains toxic, it might be better to consider ending it.
Break up if necessary: If the relationship is consistently harmful and unhealthy, it might be best to consider ending it. Prioritize your mental and emotional well-being.
Take responsibility for your actions: Cheating is not an acceptable response to abuse, and it's important to acknowledge your mistake. Understanding why you made that decision can help you avoid similar actions in the future.
Personal growth: Consider seeking individual therapy or counseling to work on personal growth, healing, and building healthier relationship patterns.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your partner and stick to them. If they continue to engage in abusive behavior, be prepared to distance yourself from the situation.
Cut off contact: If the verbal abuse continues or escalates after the breakup, it may be necessary to cut off contact for a period to protect your well-being.
Remember that every situation is unique, and these are just general suggestions. It's essential to seek personalized advice from a professional counselor or therapist who can provide support tailored to your specific circumstances. If you feel overwhelmed and need immediate help, don't hesitate to reach out to a local helpline or support organization specializing in abuse and mental health.