Question

How do I deal with an abusive wife who is also violent at times? She is extremely verbally abusive and yells all kind of nasty things when she is upset and she is upset all the time.

Answer 1

I'm really sorry to hear that you're experiencing such a challenging and abusive situation. Dealing with an abusive spouse can be extremely difficult and emotionally draining. Your safety and well-being are of utmost importance, and it's crucial to take appropriate steps to protect yourself. Here are some suggestions on how to handle this situation:

1. Prioritize your safety: If you ever feel physically threatened or fear for your safety, remove yourself from the situation immediately. Go to a safe place, such as a room with a lock or a neighbor's house, and consider contacting the authorities if necessary.

2. Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or anyone you trust about what you're going through. It's essential to have a support network that can provide emotional support and practical assistance during difficult times.

3. Seek professional help: Consider talking to a therapist, counselor, or domestic violence support group to gain insight into your situation and develop coping strategies. A professional can also help you understand your options and develop a plan for your safety.

4. Set boundaries: If possible, calmly express to your wife that her behavior is unacceptable and that you will not tolerate verbal or physical abuse. Setting boundaries is crucial, but be mindful of your safety when doing so.

5. Consider seeking legal help: If the abuse continues and you feel that your safety is at risk, consider seeking legal help. You may want to explore getting a restraining order or legal separation to protect yourself.

6. Document the abuse: Keep a record of any abusive incidents, including dates, times, and details of what occurred. Having documentation may be helpful if you need to involve authorities or seek legal assistance later on.

7. Develop an exit plan: If the situation becomes unbearable, it may be necessary to plan for leaving the relationship. Create a safety plan with the help of a counselor or support organization to ensure your well-being during the process.

8. Reach out to domestic violence helplines: There are organizations and helplines that specialize in supporting individuals facing domestic violence. In the United States, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) for assistance and resources.

Remember, abuse is never justified or acceptable. Your well-being is essential, and seeking help and support is crucial. Don't hesitate to reach out to professionals and support networks who can guide you through this difficult situation.