Defending yourself against prolonged verbal abuse can be challenging, but here are some strategies you can consider:
Remain Calm and Assertive: Try to maintain your composure and respond assertively rather than reactively. Staying calm can help you think more clearly and respond in a way that doesn't escalate the situation further.
Use Brief Responses: You don't have to engage in a lengthy back-and-forth. Use short, clear statements to assert your boundaries or express that you won't tolerate the abuse. Avoid getting into a debate or argument.
Set Time Limits: If possible, let the person know that you have a limited amount of time to talk and will need to end the conversation if it becomes abusive. Stick to those time limits if they don't respect your boundaries.
Leave the Situation: If the verbal abuse continues despite your efforts to set boundaries, it may be best to remove yourself from the situation entirely. You can say something like, "I'm not willing to continue this conversation if it involves verbal abuse," and then walk away or end the call.
Avoid Getting Defensive: Verbal abusers often try to provoke defensive reactions to maintain control. Instead of defending yourself or getting drawn into their accusations, focus on staying centered and composed.
Limit Contact: If the person is a recurring source of verbal abuse, consider reducing or limiting contact with them. Surround yourself with supportive and caring individuals instead.
Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about the situation. Having a support system can help you cope with the emotional toll of verbal abuse.
Practice Self-Compassion: Verbal abuse can be emotionally draining and may impact your self-esteem. Remind yourself that the abuse is not your fault and practice self-compassion during this difficult time.
Set Consequences: If you have the option to do so, communicate consequences for their abusive behavior. Let them know that you will limit or end contact if the abuse continues.
Consider Professional Help: If the verbal abuse is persistent and affecting your well-being, seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial in navigating this challenging situation.
Remember, defending yourself against verbal abuse may not always lead to an immediate change in the other person's behavior. The most important thing is to prioritize your well-being and safety. In some cases, distance or removing yourself from the abusive relationship may be necessary for your emotional and mental health.