I'm really sorry to hear that you're experiencing this difficult situation. Verbal abuse is a serious issue, and it's essential to understand that such behavior is not acceptable or your fault. There can be various reasons why a person, including a parent like your mom, may engage in verbally abusive behavior:
Unresolved personal issues: Sometimes, individuals who are dealing with their own emotional or psychological challenges may lash out and direct their anger and frustration at others, including their children.
Ineffective coping mechanisms: Some people have unhealthy ways of dealing with stress or difficult emotions. Unfortunately, this can lead to them taking their frustrations out on those around them.
Cycle of abuse: If your mother grew up in an abusive environment, she might have learned that abusive behavior is normal or acceptable, perpetuating the cycle of abuse.
Power and control: Verbal abuse can be a way for someone to assert control or dominance over others, making them feel powerful in the moment.
Lack of empathy or emotional intelligence: Some individuals have difficulty understanding and regulating their emotions, leading to emotional outbursts without considering the impact on others.
Mental health issues: Certain mental health conditions can lead to volatile behaviors, including emotional and verbal abuse.
It's important to remember that none of these reasons justify the abusive behavior, and it's not your responsibility to fix your mother's issues. As a victim of abuse, your priority should be your safety and well-being.
Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Reach out for support: Talk to someone you trust about what you're experiencing. This could be a family member, friend, teacher, counselor, or another supportive individual.
Seek professional help: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can provide you with guidance, coping strategies, and emotional support.
Set boundaries: If you feel safe doing so, assertively communicate your boundaries to your mother. Let her know that her abusive behavior is not acceptable.
Develop a safety plan: If the situation becomes more dangerous, have a safety plan in place. Identify safe places you can go to in case you need to leave the house temporarily.
Document the abuse: Keep a record of the abusive incidents, including dates, times, and descriptions. This documentation may be useful if you need to involve authorities.
Know your rights: If you feel your safety is at risk, don't hesitate to involve law enforcement or child protection services.
Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Reach out for support, and remember that you are not alone. There are resources available to help you through this difficult time.