It's essential to acknowledge that using violence or verbal abuse in any relationship is not a healthy or acceptable way to resolve conflicts. Reacting with violence or abusive behavior can escalate problems and create a toxic environment for both parties involved.
Apologizing for abusive behavior is a step towards taking responsibility for your actions. However, it's essential to understand that apologies alone may not be enough to repair the damage caused. In a situation like this, it would be beneficial for both of you to seek professional help, such as individual therapy or couples counseling, to address the underlying issues and learn healthier ways to communicate and handle conflicts.
Taking responsibility for your actions and seeking help to change harmful patterns of behavior is an important part of personal growth and can help you build healthier relationships in the future.
If your husband has left the relationship, it's essential to respect his decision and focus on your own personal growth and well-being. If you find yourself struggling with your emotions or behaviors, consider seeking support from a mental health professional who can guide you through this process of self-improvement.