Question

How do I get an abusive 20-year-old son out of the house? He has no job, is verbally abusive, and has gotten to be physical by pushing and shoving me. He refuses to leave.

Answer 1

I'm really sorry to hear that you're facing such a difficult and challenging situation. Dealing with an abusive family member can be incredibly distressing. Your safety and well-being are of utmost importance, and it's crucial to address this situation in a way that ensures your security.

Here are some steps you can consider taking:

1. Prioritize Your Safety: If you are in immediate danger or fear for your safety, do not hesitate to call emergency services in your country (such as 911 in the United States) or reach out to your local law enforcement for assistance.

2. Seek Support from Friends and Family: Talk to trusted friends or family members about your situation. Having a support system can provide emotional assistance during this challenging time.

3. Consult a Professional: Reach out to a counselor, therapist, or support group that deals with abusive family situations. They can provide guidance and resources to help you navigate this situation.

4. Establish Boundaries: Set clear boundaries with your son about what behavior is unacceptable. Let him know that his verbal and physical abuse is not tolerable, and there will be consequences for such behavior.

5. Consult Legal Advice: Depending on your jurisdiction, there may be legal steps you can take to evict your son from the house. Consult with a lawyer to understand your rights and options.

6. Consider Involving Authorities: If the situation escalates or becomes dangerous, involving the authorities might be necessary for your protection. They can provide advice and intervention if needed.

7. Offer Help: If your son is willing, encourage him to seek help for his behavior, such as counseling or anger management programs. However, keep in mind that this should not compromise your safety.

8. Seek a Safe Place: If the situation becomes unbearable, consider staying with a friend or family member, or look for local resources like women's shelters or crisis centers that can provide support and a safe place.

Remember that dealing with an abusive family member can be emotionally draining, and it's essential to take care of your well-being during this process. Reach out to support networks and professionals who can assist you in handling the situation safely and effectively.