It's important to remember that emotions and relationships can be complex, and it's not uncommon to have conflicting feelings towards someone, even a close family member like your mother. It's okay to have these mixed emotions, and it doesn't mean that there is something inherently wrong with you.
There could be various reasons why you feel this way. It might be helpful to explore and reflect on your feelings to gain a better understanding of what might be causing them. Here are a few possible reasons:
Personal differences: Sometimes, people have personalities or behaviors that clash with our own, even if we love them. Differences in values, beliefs, or interests can create tension in relationships.
Past experiences: Past events or interactions with your mother might have left a lasting impact on how you perceive her, leading to your feelings of not liking her as a person.
Unresolved issues: If there are unresolved conflicts or unaddressed emotions between you and your mother, they could contribute to your mixed feelings.
Expectations: Sometimes, our expectations of how a parent should be can influence how we feel about them when they don't meet those expectations.
Self-reflection: Consider if there are aspects of yourself that you don't like and whether those feelings are being projected onto your mother.
It might be beneficial to talk to a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, about your feelings. They can help you explore your emotions and provide guidance on how to navigate your relationship with your mother in a healthy way. Remember that it's okay to have complex feelings, and seeking support can be a valuable step towards understanding and improving your emotional well-being.