When someone tells you that you're "guarded," they are likely observing that you have a tendency to be cautious and reserved in revealing your thoughts, emotions, or personal information. Being guarded means that you are careful about whom you trust and what you share with others, especially in emotionally vulnerable situations. It is a defense mechanism that people often develop in response to past experiences, such as betrayals, heartbreak, or difficult relationships.
Here are some common characteristics of someone who may be considered guarded:
Reserved Emotions: You might find it challenging to express your feelings openly, even with people you are close to, and you may keep your emotions private.
Difficulty Opening Up: You may hesitate to share personal details about yourself or your life with others, even when they try to get to know you better.
Protective of Personal Space: You value your personal space and may be uncomfortable with people invading it, both physically and emotionally.
Fear of Vulnerability: Being guarded often comes from a fear of being hurt or rejected if you let your guard down and become emotionally vulnerable.
Tendency to Test Others: You might test people's trustworthiness and reliability before allowing them to get closer to you emotionally.
Self-Reliance: You may prefer to handle challenges on your own and find it challenging to ask for help or support from others.
Difficulty Trusting Others: Trust is earned slowly, and you may find it hard to trust people fully until they prove themselves trustworthy.
It's essential to recognize that being guarded can have both positive and negative aspects. On one hand, it can help protect you from potential harm or heartbreak, ensuring that you don't become too vulnerable too quickly. On the other hand, it may hinder the development of deep and meaningful connections with others, as trust and emotional openness are vital for building close relationships.
If someone points out that you're guarded, it could be an opportunity for self-reflection. Consider exploring why you might be cautious about opening up to others. Understanding the reasons behind your guarded behavior can help you make conscious decisions about when and with whom to let your guard down. If you feel that being overly guarded is causing difficulties in your relationships or hindering your emotional well-being, you may want to consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can help you explore these feelings further and develop healthier ways of managing your emotions and forming meaningful connections with others.