When a manipulator realizes they have been caught or are about to face questioning or confrontation about their behavior, they may exhibit various defensive strategies to avoid accountability and maintain control. Keep in mind that manipulators are skilled at using deceptive tactics to protect their interests and maintain their influence over others. Some typical reactions a manipulator might display include:
Denial: One of the most common responses is outright denial of any wrongdoing. They may act as if they have no idea what the accuser is talking about or may twist the situation to make themselves appear innocent.
Gaslighting: Manipulators may try to gaslight the person confronting them, making them doubt their perceptions and memories. They may say things like, "You must be mistaken; that never happened," or "You're just overreacting."
Deflection: Instead of addressing the issue at hand, they may deflect attention away from their behavior by pointing out flaws or mistakes in the person confronting them, diverting the focus onto something else entirely.
Playing the victim: Manipulators might try to turn the tables and make themselves the victim of the situation. They may act hurt or offended, hoping to garner sympathy and shift the blame onto the person questioning them.
Minimizing: Manipulators may downplay their actions or the impact of their behavior, trying to make it seem less serious or significant than it really is.
Silent treatment: Some manipulators may resort to giving the silent treatment or refusing to engage in further conversation to avoid accountability or confrontation.
Aggression: In some cases, when backed into a corner, a manipulator might become aggressive or resort to personal attacks to intimidate the person confronting them and discourage any further questioning.
Apology without change: Some manipulators might offer a superficial apology, but their behavior remains unchanged. This tactic is meant to appease the person confronting them temporarily without having to make any genuine effort to change.
It's essential to be aware of these manipulative tactics and not let them deter you from addressing problematic behavior. When confronting a manipulator, it's crucial to stay firm, assertive, and maintain a clear understanding of the facts. Documenting instances of manipulative behavior can also be helpful, as it provides evidence and prevents the manipulator from rewriting history. If you suspect you are dealing with a manipulator or find yourself frequently caught in their manipulative tactics, seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be beneficial in navigating these challenging interactions.