I can offer some general insights into why your boyfriend might react this way.
Avoidance of conflict: Some people have a natural inclination to avoid confrontation and conflict. When they sense that their partner is upset or angry, they may shut down as a defense mechanism to prevent escalating the situation further.
Fear of making things worse: Your boyfriend might fear saying the wrong thing or making the situation worse if he responds while you are upset. He might think that by staying quiet and giving you space, he can prevent any further harm.
Emotional sensitivity: People differ in how they handle emotions. If your boyfriend is emotionally sensitive, he might become overwhelmed by your anger or discomfort and have difficulty finding the right words to respond constructively.
Guilt or shame: If he realizes that he has done something inappropriate or hurtful, he may feel guilty or ashamed, making it challenging for him to engage in conversation. Shutting down could be his way of processing those feelings.
Lack of communication skills: Some individuals struggle with expressing themselves effectively, especially during emotionally charged situations. Rather than saying something wrong, they might choose silence as a coping mechanism.
Past experiences: Previous negative experiences with conflict or expressing emotions could impact how he handles similar situations in your relationship.
Respect and consideration: It's also possible that your boyfriend is trying to be respectful and considerate of your feelings. By not engaging immediately, he might be trying to give you space to cool down and collect your thoughts.
Regardless of the reason for his behavior, it's crucial to have open and honest communication in a relationship. If you find that this pattern of shutting down during conflicts becomes a persistent issue, it might be helpful for both of you to discuss your communication styles and find healthier ways to address concerns together. Encouraging a safe and understanding environment where both partners can express their feelings without judgment can be beneficial for strengthening your relationship. If you're finding it challenging to navigate these dynamics on your own, seeking the guidance of a couples counselor or therapist could be beneficial. They can help you both explore your communication patterns and work towards healthier resolutions.