The attitude towards name changes in marriage can be influenced by various factors, including cultural norms, personal beliefs, and individual values. It's essential to remember that everyone has their own perspectives and reasons for their preferences. While your fiancé may have different views on name changes, it's crucial to have open and respectful communication to understand each other's perspectives fully. Here are some potential reasons why your fiancé might be adamant about you dropping your last name altogether:
Cultural or traditional beliefs: In some cultures or families, the tradition is for the woman to take her husband's last name without retaining her maiden name or making it her middle name. Cultural norms and traditions can be deeply ingrained and may influence your fiancé's perspective on name changes.
Symbolism and unity: Your fiancé may see the act of both partners taking the same last name as a symbol of unity and commitment in marriage. For them, the shared last name might represent a sense of togetherness and solidarity as a couple.
Practicality and simplicity: Some people prefer straightforward and simple name changes to avoid potential complications with legal documents or social interactions. Dropping your last name altogether might be seen as a more practical choice in their eyes.
Misunderstanding or lack of exposure: Your fiancé might not be familiar with the idea of using one's maiden name as a middle name after marriage. This lack of exposure or understanding could lead them to be apprehensive about the concept.
Concerns about family or societal perceptions: Your fiancé might worry about how extended family members or society in general will perceive or react to a non-traditional name change. Social pressure can sometimes influence people's views on name changes.
Personal beliefs about identity: Some individuals attach strong significance to names as a part of their identity. Your fiancé might have personal beliefs that associate dropping the maiden name with a more complete transition into married life.
It's essential for both you and your fiancé to engage in open, empathetic, and respectful discussions about your feelings and perspectives on the matter. Marriage is a partnership, and making decisions together that respect both partners' wishes and values is crucial for a healthy relationship. Consider expressing your reasons for wanting to make your last name your middle name and taking his last name to help him understand your perspective better.
In the end, the decision about your name change should be based on what feels right for you as an individual and as a couple. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to name changes in marriage, and each couple should find the solution that best aligns with their values and desires.