A covert narcissist may give you the silent treatment, even when they need something important from you, for several reasons. Understanding these motivations can shed light on their behavior:
Control and Manipulation: Covert narcissists use the silent treatment as a manipulative tactic to exert control over others. By giving you the silent treatment, they create anxiety and uncertainty, making you more likely to comply with their needs or desires just to break the silence and restore communication.
Power and Superiority: Covert narcissists often have an inflated sense of entitlement and superiority. Giving you the silent treatment reinforces their belief that they are more important and that you should be at their beck and call.
Avoiding Accountability: If they need something from you, being "nice" may require acknowledging that they need your help or support, which may be challenging for them due to their aversion to vulnerability or admitting dependence on others. The silent treatment allows them to avoid directly asking for assistance while still trying to get what they want.
Avoiding Criticism or Rejection: Covert narcissists may fear criticism or rejection, so rather than risk hearing something they don't want to hear, they choose to be silent and maintain control over the situation.
Withholding to Punish: The silent treatment can be a form of punishment. If they perceive that you have done something to upset them or threaten their ego, they may withhold communication as a way to "punish" you for your perceived transgressions.
Testing Your Loyalty: By giving you the silent treatment, they may be testing your loyalty and commitment to them. They want to see if you will go out of your way to break the silence and meet their needs, reinforcing their belief in their own importance.
Lack of Empathy: Covert narcissists often struggle with empathy and understanding others' emotions. They may not comprehend the emotional impact of their silent treatment on you and instead focus on their own needs and desires.
It's essential to recognize that the silent treatment is a manipulative and unhealthy communication tactic. If you find yourself dealing with someone who consistently uses the silent treatment to get what they want, it's crucial to establish healthy boundaries and consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to navigate these dynamics effectively. Remember, healthy relationships are built on open communication, mutual respect, and empathy for each other's feelings and needs.